Tuesday, February 19, 2008

A Long Walk to the Frog Pond

I feel the time has finally come for me to frog the sweater jacket I made 6 years ago. It never looked right on me. It was never long enough. Rather, it was too long in the front and not long enough in the back. Two of me could have fit in it. The cables were way too big for my frame. I'm only 5 feet tall (let me convert that for the rest of the world - 152 cm). Each cable repeat measured 3 inches (7.6 cm), 5% of my height.

Do you see the size of those sleeves? They measure 18 inches (45.7 cm) wide!


It has taken me 6 years to frog a sweater jacket that did nothing but sit in storage all those years because it is more than just a jacket. It was my crowning achievement to the early knitting years. I was proud as a peacock that I knit something so large and so beautiful. I can also tell you exactly where I was when I was knitting it: in Tennessee attending Dan's grandparent's 50th anniversary. I was sitting in a glider chair in Dan's Uncle Scott's house on picture day, the day we all lined up outside to take pictures of the whole family together. I was younger. Dan and I had only been married for approx 2 years. I was still uneasy around his family - his father's side of the family to be specific. I can't ever remember being uneasy around his mother's side.

There is a big difference between Dan's mother's side and Dan's father's side. His mother's side welcomed me into the family with open arms. I felt loved, totally comfortable, and an integral part of the family within a month. Only now do I feel like I am a part of Dan's father's side of the family. I truly enjoy spending time with his father and fam where before I dreaded going down to TN or over to his father's house. Partly because time has worked its magic, but mostly it is due to the fact that I no longer the anxious, wanting-their-approval, naive girl. OK, I'm still a bit naive, but I'm ten times more confident and have no need for anybody's approval.

My marriage with Dan has blossomed over the years. My sister now loves to tell me that we're old married people. Part of her teasing comes from the fact that her marriage isn't as strong or as happy. It pains me. Long have I wished for her to have the happiness I have known.

So, this sweater is a testament to our marriage. It is a gauge of how much I have grown into a woman. It is still a crowning achievement of my FOs.

My mind is made up though. I am frogging it. I plan to make it into the sweater jacket I have always wanted it to be.

6 comments:

Mr Puffy's Knitting Blog: said...

What a great story. I love how you use the jacket as a metaphor for your personal growth - you are able let go of that what was not perfect. You are fortuante to have a happy marriage. Steve and I have been together 18 years and are very happy. It is hard to see friends that don't enjoy that happiness.

Adrienne said...

It's amazing how knitting can be associated with such vivid memories and also reflect where we're going in our lives.

Good luck with the new sweater, I hope the yarn will become something you really love and wear with pride. =)

Jane Carlstrom said...

You go Girl!

Nan said...

I look forward to the progress updates on the new sweater, one you get to weave with old memories too! A bit of the past knitted in with a new beginning.

Janey said...

What a lovely post. You are very fortunate to have found such a lovely husband, me too. It's difficult when you can see others who are not so fortunate but it makes you count your own blessings all the more!

Sarah said...

So many memories in these knitted items of ours

Sounds like a wise decision to remake it